“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
The Lord gave Joshua these instructions as he took over the leadership of the Israelites after the death of Moses. He gave me this verse this week as I prepare to go back to work tomorrow. I have struggled with fear and anxiety over returning to work all summer long. If you had asked me 5 years ago if I would ever want to be a stay at home mom, I would have looked at you like you were crazy and said “No possible way.” The Lord has changed my heart almost entirely, but I am committed to my job for one more year. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job most of the time. The Lord called me to ministry with teenagers through Young Life 11 years ago and has molded me into a minister of the Gospel. We are paying for Jed’s masters, so I need to work full time right now. My job is such that normal day care hours aren’t a huge help because I often work weekends and evenings. After discussing it with several other YL staff women who have children, we have decided to use a Mother’s Day Out program at a church near our house 2 days a week and I’ve moved my office to my home. This is a HUGE change for me and I am so scared that I will be inadequate at both my job and mothering because I’ll be stretched too thin. The Lord gave me this verse on Thursday and it has been an encouragement. He has me in this place in life, in this job, in this city. He has blessed me with this child and the opportunity to work while mothering. He has provided for us miraculously time after time. He will walk beside me and comfort my fears if I release them. As I go back to work tomorrow, I will be strong and courageous, for He is with me.
