Category: pregnancy

Motherhood Changed Everything

ellieandmommycominghome2I often think of the befores and afters of my life, how I came to be who I am today and how I evolved from the person I once was. Transformations happen naturally as we grow and mature, and sometimes abruptly through traumatic events or drastic changes. Reflecting on milestones is big part of the human existence. We think about our graduations, weddings, job changes, deaths of loved ones, births of children. I’ve experienced a lot in my almost 36 years, but the biggest transformation of my life has come from motherhood. I am a very different person today than I was five years ago, and the two sweet babies who made me a mama are the reason.

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What is Natural Childbirth Really Like? A Mom’s Perspective

The two most common reactions I get when I share that I had an all natural birth with my daughter are, “Why would you choose NOT to have pain medicine?” and “That’s cool, but I could never do that.” As her birthday draws near, I’m reflecting on the choices I made surrounding her birth and the beautiful experience it was. I’ve only birthed two children, but because of the choices I made each time I’ve experienced both a very clinical, controlled, medicated birth and an all natural, no medication, no intervention birth. Spoiler alert: the all natural birth was by far my favorite for many reasons. Because of these experiences, today I’m sharing what all natural birth was like for me and why I preferred it to the medicated version. No two births are alike, and you have the right to choose what is best for your body and your baby. I’m just a mom sharing my experiences.

What is Natural Childbirth Really Like A Mom's Perspective

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Make a DIY Baby Book with a Handwritten Style Font with Free Printables {2nd Edition}

free printable DIY baby book with handwritten font

free printable DIY baby book with handwritten font

My sweet Pearl Girl is already one, and I just now finished her baby book. I am the Queen of Procrastination. I found a handwriting style font I love and recreated my DIY baby book I made for the Bear with the new font. You can find my original DIY Baby Book with free printables post here. I ordered an 8 1/2 x 11 scrapbook album off Amazon and printed the pages at home on colored 8 1/2 x 11 cardstock.  I am happy to share these free printables with you, for personal use only. See below for more information.

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Frugal Living: Our Top Five Tips for Saving Money with a Baby

savingmoneywithababy

We live debt free on a tight budget and don’t do debt or credit cards (thanks to Dave Ramsey‘s Total Money Makeover). When each of our two children came along, we knew there would be added expenses but did our best to minimize them. Jed and talked through our favorite frugal tips for saving money with a baby to share with you today. You could easily spend a fortune on baby gear and clothes, but you don’t have to. Having a baby will completely change your life, but it doesn’t have to break the bank. We are not experts, just a family thriving on one teacher income and living life to the full without spending a ton.

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Evenflo Symphony DLX Platinum Convertible Car Seat Review ~ The Only Car Seat You’ll Ever Need #EvenfloPlatinum

evenflocarseatreviewfulllength

Our little Pearl Girl just turned one and we have been on the look out for a new car seat. Her infant seat has been great, but she is getting to the point where she wants to sit up a little higher and see more of the world around her. We knew we wanted to upgrade to a convertible seat because we want to keep her rear facing as long as possible. When I had the opportunity to try Evenflo’s new Symphony DLX Platinum Convertible Car Seat, I thought it looked like the perfect fit for us. The seat is designed to fit children from 5-110 pounds, so it is seriously the only one you’ll ever need. We wear our kids rather than tote them around in infant seats, so a convertible car seat is just right for our family. Read on for our convertible car seat review to find out what we loved  and didn’t love about the seat and our recommendations.

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Mama Needs a Minute: Graco Little Lounger Review #Graco15ForMe


Adjusting to life with two wee ones has been… a challenge.  I love it, but lately we’ve had a few days when naps don’t overlap and I’m desperate for a shower.  Sometimes mama just needs a minute.  Through a sponsored opportunity I had the chance to learn about Graco’s new Little Lounger at an event on White Rock Lake in Dallas, as well as review it in depth at home.  It is a 2 in 1 rocking seat and vibrating bouncer, perfect for naps or a comfy spot for baby to lounge while Mommy checks off the to do list or takes a minute to breathe.  If you are expecting or the parent of a baby under thirty pounds, the Little Lounger should be on your radar.  
The Little Lounger was really put to the test when we were trying to get out the door for a road trip.  My Pearl girl lounged contentedly for over half an hour while we rounded up last minute stuff and packed the car.  I didn’t have to worry about her crawling under the book shelf or trying to eat one of the Bear’s toys.  She coo’ed and laughed and batted at the little leaves hanging down.  It was glorious.  
We received the Graco Little Lounger in Caraway, available exclusively at Babies R Us.  I love the gender neutral design and soothing colors, as well as the leaf motif.  It retails for $79.99, and other designs are available at Target and Buy Buy Baby. 
My Favorite Features:
vibration – soothes the angry teething baby
Rock Locks – keeps the lounger in place if desired and keeps big brother from rocking her too hard
secure – three point harness
comfortable & breathable – mesh on the sides with soft plush on the seat
adjustable recline – one pull adjusts the incline to the perfect angle
compact – folds flat for easy travel and storage
I think the Graco Little Lounger would make the perfect baby shower gift, but it is much more than that.  Pregnant or expectant adoptive mamas should add it to their registries.  If you are a grandparent, this would be a perfect option to have on hand for visiting grandbabies without taking up too much closet space.  For parents traveling with infants, the lounger folds nearly flat, sets up in a second, and takes up much less space than bulkier alternatives.  

 At our Graco 15 For Me event, Baby Boot Camp instructor Amanda Foose taught us a quick series of exercises to do while baby happily lounges.  She made it seem so doable, and I was excited to get home and try it myself.  I tried a mini work out while the Pearl girl lounged, and she thought it was hilarious.  She is newly crawling and putting everything straight in to her mouth, so having her happily playing in the Little Lounger really allowed me to concentrate on the exercises.

Follow @GracoBaby on Twitter and find Graco on Facebook to connect and learn about more great Graco products as well as discounts and promotions. 
What would you do with “15 minutes for me”?

Mombo Comfort & Harmony Nursing Pillow Review

My sweet Pearl girl and I were so excited to review the Mombo Comfort & Harmony Nursing Pillow, and even more thrilled to give one away to one lucky reader.  Click here for the Mombo giveaway.  If you are expecting a baby and planning to breastfeed, a nursing pillow will be on every registry check list.  I nursed my son for a year and am 4 months into nursing my daughter for at least a year (hopefully).  You can read more about my breastfeeding battles the first time around here, and read all I’ve learned about breastfeeding here.  
With the Bear, I used a nursing pillow all the way through until he weaned.  I suffer from back problems, and using a nursing pillow greatly relieves the stress on my back that breastfeeding can bring.  I use one every time I nurse at home, and take it with me when I travel.  The only time I don’t use one is if I’m out running errands or in public.  

What makes the Mombo different from other nursing pillows?  The Mombo has two sides, a firmer side and a softer side.  We prefer the softer side, but I think the firmer side would be ideal with a newborn.  The Mombo also comes with a battery operated vibrating insert that soothes my sweet girl gently.  I’ve found that for my sometimes distracted nurser, the vibration helps her to concentrate and eat rather than pulling off and looking around.  Hallelujah! 

The pillow and cover are very well made, and the cover is super soft and easily comes off to wash.  If you have a spit up queen like I do, easy washing is key.  I love the gender neutral Mosaic Moonlight cover, but there are several cover options including gender specific ones to choose from.

Overall we really like our Mombo pillow.  The only negative I could find would be the size might be an issue for plus size mamas.  The angle of the pillow fits snuggle and comfortably for me and keeps my girl in place when she’s lounging, but might fit a plus size mama a bit too tight.  I don’t know for sure, but it is something to keep in mind.

 Probably my favorite aspect of the Mombo is that it doubles as a truly supportive lounger.  The Pearl girl is still a supported sitter at 4 1/2 months, and she was able to sit comfortably in the Mombo as you can see below.  Isn’t she the cutest?!
The Mombo is available at Target and retails for $29-39, depending on the cover.  Extra covers are $12.99.  Find your Mombo Nursing Pillow at Target and don’t forget to enter to win the Mombo giveaway here.  


This review was made possible by Double Duty Divas and Kids II. I was provided the featured product free of charge to facilitate my review, but all opinions are 100% my own.   

Everything I’ve Learned About Breastfeeding {5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me} + Our Story

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I’m sharing my personal breastfeeding experiences here on the blog.  I support all moms and their parenting choices, but this week is all about breastfeeding awareness.  Please do not read judgement in to my words.  It isn’t there.  I am currently nursing my second child who is 3 months old and exclusively breastfed.  I nursed my first child for 1 year, with some formula supplementation the first 2 months. You can read about my breastfeeding battle nursing my first child here.   We had a hard time, and I learned a lot.  Nursing is the best for your baby, and it may be a challenge for you.  It is at times a truly beautiful, bonding, precious, and dare I say holy time.  At other times it is uncomfortable, frustrating, and difficult.  It is always worth it.

1) Breastfeeding is best for baby and natural, but not necessarily easy.

I took a class before Bear was born, but had never really seen anyone breastfeed.  I had no clue what I was doing.  Then I had a c-section, which makes nursing more difficult for most moms (and a big part of why I had a VBAC with my 2nd child).  Formula was pushed on me by the hospital because Bear was loosing weight and wouldn’t latch correctly.  Weeks later we found out it was because he had a tongue tie.  Nurses, lactation consultants, and our former pediatrician all blamed me, saying I wasn’t producing enough milk and just wasn’t trying hard enough.  NO one bothered to look in Bear’s mouth and see the real issue until we hired a private IBCLC to come to our house as a last ditch effort.  She saw the problem immediately and explained that it wouldn’t get better until his tongue was fixed.

We saw a pediatric ENT doctor the next day and had his tongue clipped.  He immediately latched on correctly and my breasts started producing more milk.  Because he couldn’t latch he tore up my breasts, because he tore up my breasts I used nipple shields given by an LC, because I used nipple shields my milk production went down, because my milk production went down I was bullied into supplementing, because I supplemented I had to battle to get my production back up.  It was an ordeal.  But worth it.  After we had his tongue fixed I worked hard to get my production back up and we were able to stop using formula at 5 weeks.  He nursed exclusively til 6 months when we started solid food, and continued nursing til 12 months.

When the Pearl Girl was born three months ago, we immediately saw that she was also tongue tied.  We had it fixed on the way home from the hospital by our pediatrician, but had to go back for one more clip by our pediatric ENT.  In the 3 short days it took to get her tongue fixed, my breasts were already torn to shreds.  If this happened to you, a tongue tie could be to blame.  Since we had it fixed she has nursed well and my milk production is great.

2) If you can push through the first 8 weeks, it gets much easier and is completely worth all the hard work.  It will make your life so much easier and hassle free.

You can read lots of great information about why breastfeeding is best for your baby here and here.  It was also the best for me because I never have to heat anything up, mix anything, or tote any food with me.  My milk is always available and always the perfect temp, and in the perfect container.  I’m not able to store pumped milk because my milk contains extra lipase and goes bad when stored.  This means I have to be available to feed my babe whenever she is hungry.  This can be a challenge, but I make it my priority to be there for her.  I did the same with Bear while working.  It was a sacrifice, but totally worth it.  I truly believe that breastfeeding is the reason Bear has only needed antibiotics once in his 2+ years.

3) Breastfeeding can be lonely, but you are not alone.
At the beginning, breastfeeding is a 40 hour + a week job, and it can be a bit lonely, just you and your sweet babe.  You are most definitely not alone.  There is a fabulous breastfeeding community online, in chat rooms, on Facebook, and on Twitter.  Search for the #bfcafe hashtag to find a weekly Twitter chat, and look for your local Le Leche League’s Facebook group.  Many local baby stores also host breastfeeding cafes run by IBCLCs where you can find community and get advice.  If you are struggling and need help, don’t hesitate to ask.  You are not a failure because you need help.  Ask your friends for recommendations on lactation consultants and make sure they are internationally board certified (IBCLC), or call your Le Leche League chapter.  You will be surprised by how many of your friends sought help with their nursling. A breastfeeding hotline run by a formula company is not the best resource for quality information on nursing.  If you need help, check out the resources below.
Breastfeeding Resources:
Best For Babes
Kelly Mom
Info About Tongue Ties
Le Leche League
The Leaky Boob

4) Your breastfeeding relationship may look different from your mom’s or your friend’s.

Many women of our parents’ generation did not breastfeed, many because they believed the advertising campaigns that said science (formula) was better than nature or because they had to return to work quickly after the birth.  My mom told me that she was kind of unique with her natural Lamaze births and breastfeeding.  Your mom or mother in law may think it is weird for you to want to nurse, and other people in your life may not be supportive.  Lots of folks will have advice.  Your best friend may be completely happy nursing on demand 24/7 til age 4, while your other friend is doing all she can to get to 6 weeks.  Both are doing what works for them and their baby.  Some babies eat for 5-10 minutes every hour, while others (like mine) eat for 20-30 minutes every 2-4 hours.  What I do know is this: while a structured routine may work for you, a rigid schedule will make you crazy.  Babies get hungry when they get hungry, just like we do.  If they are used to eating around the same time every day, they may put themselves into a routine.  However, a rigid schedule run by the clock will leave you stressed and baby hungry and mad.  I love a routine.  But not a schedule.  Our basic routine is eat, activity, sleep.  I feed her, burp her, then we do some activity, then she will start to act fussy and it is time for nap.  When she wakes up (at whatever time) I know she is hungry again.  Every day looks a little different.  This is what works for us, but what works for you may look completely different.  And that’s ok.  Trust your mama heart and your mama instincts.

5) Breastfeeding is not a modesty issue, it is a baby feeding issue.

When my first child was born, I just knew I would always wear a cover when nursing in public and would never be one of THOSE women.  Then my first child hated to be covered.  He wanted to see my face the whole time and would immediately throw off the blanket as soon as his little arms had the strength.  Also, I live in Texas and have to nurse in the summer.  If you believe women should have to cover up, I have an exercise for you to try.  Grab your lunch and then try to eat it under a blanket.  You will get really uncomfortable, really fast, even in air conditioning.  My baby feels the same way.  I’m not flashing my boobs all over town, but I will feed my baby whenever and wherever she is hungry, and most likely won’t use a cover.  Most people probably won’t even notice.  If a women feeding her baby offends you, you definitely want to stay away from the mall because those store ads show WAY more boobage than any nursing mama.  The message that it is somehow wrong to use our bodies they way God designed them just makes my blood boil.

Nursing in public is part of the message of World Breastfeeding Week.  When moms feel shamed and discriminated against, it can sabotage a nursing relationship.  Unfortunately this still happens on a regular basis.  Here in Texas the rights of nursing moms are protected, but that doesn’t stop the harassment.  Check out the news story below to learn about the recent Big Latch On event and the discrimination faced by one Texas mom.
Dallas News | myFOXdfw.com

If you are a nursing mom, what is your favorite thing about your breastfeeding relationship?  What is the hardest thing about nursing?

I would love to challenge everyone who reads this to encourage any nursing mamas they know with kind words and support.  If you see a mama nursing in public, thank her for what she is doing.  She will appreciate it.

Link Party Button #milkingit

Trying for a VBAC: Eleanor Pearl’s Birth Story

Eleanor came into this world just three months ago, but it seems as though she has been a part of our family forever.  Her story begins with my journey towards a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) even before she was a twinkle in my eye.  After the Bear’s traumatic birth, I knew I wanted something different, something better, for my next child and for myself.  I started researching like crazy and reading everything I could about birth.  I joined my local ICAN chapter (International Cesarean Awareness Network) and read blogs like Birth Without Fear on a regular basis.  You can read more about from my Trying for a VBAC series here to get the whole background story.  I found a supportive OB, hired a doula, and wrote my birth plan.  I visited a chiropractor, read many books, and practiced my coping techniques.  I prepared myself to go past my due date because induction brings unnecessary risk and my previous birth was “late.”  I was as ready as I could be.  I posted my 39 week update and was sure I’d have to share a 40 week blog post soon.  Eleanor had other plans.
Sunday morning came, four days before her “guess date”, and we attended the baptism and celebration of our sweet little friend Grace.  We had a fun day and that evening I felt a little off, but chalked it up to a big day.  I was already dilated to between 3-4 centimeters and completely effaced, and had real and Braxton Hicks contractions daily for weeks.  At 2 am I woke up with real and steady contractions.  Because I am the best wife ever, I dealt with them on my own for four hours without waking Jed up.  I bounced on my birth ball, used my Spinning Babies positions to relieve the wicked back labor, got in and out of the tub and shower, and reheated my rice sock heating pad over and over.  I texted and talked a few times with my doula, Erica.  She was such a trooper, having arrived home from a 24 hour birth just a few hours before.  She talked me through positions over the phone and helped me decide when it was time to wake up Jed and call our babysitter.  I had been throwing up consistently, but that is how I’ve always dealt with pain so it wasn’t that abnormal.  At 6 am I woke Jed up and told him he wouldn’t be going to work that day because we were having a baby.  I also wished him a happy birthday and was excited and overwhelmed that our daughter would most likely share her daddy’s birthday.  We decided it was best to head to the hospital to beat rush hour traffic, because we live in a northern suburb and Baylor Hospital is downtown.  Our awesome friend Raychel came over to take care of Bear when he woke up, and we took off for the hospital.

{Unfortunately we only have phone photos from her birth because of a computer crash.}

The ride to the hospital was rough, but faster than we’d hoped with early morning traffic.  We arrived at the hospital around 7 am.  I was checked and still not 4 cm, but was still 100% effaced and at a 0 station.  Erica (my doula) arrived at 7:30 am and got straight to work positioning me to relieve the back labor.  The pretzel position really helped, with one leg crossed over my body and up as high as I could get it.  Dr. Lawson asked that I be monitored for an hour, and if I had not progressed be allowed to leave and walk around.  I prayed hard for progress and doubts began to creep in reminding me of my previous birth trauma.  I labored in my own clothes which was a powerful way to feel less like a sick patient and more like an individual working towards a healthy birth. I used our DIY heating pad scented with lavender essential oil to help relieve pain and help me relax. Ocean wave sounds played on my phone to help my mind focus.

The nurse checked me at 9:05 am and I had reached 5 cm.  Yay for progress!  They moved me from the labor and delivery triage over to the real labor and delivery wing.  We were able to settle in for a few minutes before my pressure waves really cranked up a notch.  At a little past 11, my doula called my chiropractor and asked her to come in and adjust me to help with the back labor.  Dr. Denisa Weber arrived at 11:40 and adjusted me which really seemed to help.  I was officially in labor land and things got really fuzzy after that.  Later I realized it was because I had moved into transition, and was floating through it.  There was pain and hard work, but I wouldn’t change a thing.  Baylor requires VBAC mamas to be continuously monitored, but most doctors and nurses will allow you a 15 minute break every hour to “go to the bathroom”.  For me this was time to get up and move around, try to empty my bladder, and try new positions.  My amazing nurse gave me lots of grace with the time limits, and even held the monitors in crazy positions while I moved through contractions.

I labored hanging over the bed, on the toilet, hanging on Jed, pushing on the bed, and on the birth ball.  Kneeling backwards over the bed was my favorite.  After several adjustments by Dr. Denisa, I felt the baby move down more and felt intense pressure and the sensation of pushing around noon.  I continued to labor her down and was checked by a nurse at 12:36 pm who thought I was between 8-9 cm and possibly even complete.  Transition happened while being adjusted and I really believe that the chiropractic help made it much easier to deal with.  A resident came in and checked me, confirming that I had reached 10 cm at 12:45 pm.  At 1 pm my nurse, Julie, confirmed that Eleanor had reached a +1 station.  This was HUGE for me because the Bear never got past 0 station.  I wept with pure joy and a sense of victory, but the battle was far from over.
Dr. Lawson arrived at 1:10 pm, even though it was her day off.  I cry just thinking about how crucial she (and the rest of my birth team) were to the birthing process.  She decided to break my bag of waters after a bit of observation, hoping that it would help bring the baby down.  After that I worked harder than I’ve ever worked in my life to get my daughter to move down into the birth canal.  She was stuck behind my pubic bone, just like my son before his cesarean birth.  After and hour and half of hard work, at 2:39 pm we added a squat bar and changed positions multiple times to try and get her to move down.  Pushing was the hardest work of my life, but the most rewarding by far.  I struggled with self doubt and began to feel that maybe my body was broken, was a lemon, and I couldn’t do this.  Dr. Lawson saw the look in my eyes and told me that I could do it, was in fact doing it, and to keep going.  Her words pushed me past the pain and helped me to keep going.  Erica continued to encourage me and provide counter pressure to my hips and back as she had done throughout the day.  She was incredible.

Someone brought the mirror over so I could watch the progress, and it was incredibly motivating.  Such a change from my first birth where I wanted no part of the mirror.  Jed watched and held my hand as out beautiful daughter came into the world at 3:56 pm after almost 14 hours of all natural labor.  She had the cord wrapped around her neck and was a little blue.  After greeting her for a few minutes the nurse had to suction her for a while to get her to breathe well.  Dr. Lawson stitched my 2nd degree tear, which I hardly noticed.  I couldn’t believe my girl was here and my body was able to do what it was designed to do.   Ina May Gaskin’s words rang so true in my mind, “Your body is not a lemon!”

Eleanor Pearl weighed in at 7 lbs 15 oz, and was 20 in long with a beautiful head full of hair.  We were able to nurse as soon as her little lungs cleared out, and she stayed with us the entire time we were in the hospital.  We waited to bathe her until the next day and Jed and I both helped with her first bath.  We got so much support from the Baylor Hospital staff with the birth process, breastfeeding, and rooming in.  I didn’t have to fight for any part of my birth plan and the whole experience was incredibly healing.  I am so thankful to have had a healthy, normal, natural birth.  Every piece of the postpartum process was easier because of the VBAC.  Healing, recovery, breastfeeding, adjusting to life with a newborn, all of it went so much smoother.  My daughter is such a joy and a healthy, happy little girl.
If you have had a cesarean section, I would strongly encourage you to do your research, find your local ICAN chapter, and consider trying for a VBAC.  It is worth it.  Your body is not a lemon.

My Birth Team:
If you are in the Dallas area and looking for a VBAC supportive OB, I highly recommend Dr. Lawson at Madewell OB/GYN.  You can find her here.
If you are in DFW and in search of a doula who will support you through labor, Erica Sosa is your woman.  She has personally experienced c-section and VBAC and supported many clients through their births.  You can find her here.
My Webster certified chiropractor is Dr. Denisa Weber.  She is also an experienced doula and played a critical role in Eleanor’s birth story.  I would definitely recommend her services.  You can find her here.

Trying for a VBAC Guest Post: Josiah’s Birth Story

While I’m on a little bloggy maternity leave, I’ll be featuring a few guest bloggers. As part of my Trying for a VBAC series, some of my guest posters will be sharing their own birth stories with y’all.  Today’s guest blogger is Andrea.  Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful birth story with us, Andrea!

Andrea has been married to Tim for almost nine years, and together they are homeschooling parents to Lydia (6), Benjamin (3) and newbie Josiah. They also remember their son Jonathan in their hearts. Andrea has been interested in all things related to pregnancy, birth and motherhood since high school, and sometimes calls her first child “well-researched.”

Here is my birth story, about 99% complete. Most of this story is from what I directly remember, but there are parts that I was told about afterwards, from my midwife and doula and a friend that was there, filling in the blanks when I was too out of it to fully realize what was going on. I don’t yet have my midwife’s written notes, but it’ll be a little while before I get those, and she and I have talked about the birth, so I’ve included those bits in here and am going to call it good for now. 

I also mention my Christian faith a few times, so if that will offend you, just be aware that it is there and an important part of my life. 

And the final disclaimer, this is my narrative story and should in no way be taken as medical advice. 

The birth story of my fourth child starts with the birth of my third. Jonathan, my third baby, was an emergency c-section at 25 weeks because of complete placental abruption (which followed my premature rupture of membranes at 23 weeks). He was with us for 27 days before we lost him due to complications from an infection. 

Even if Jonathan had lived, Tim (hubby) and I would not have felt that our family was complete at only three children, but now I was a complicated case. I was sneaking up on “advanced maternal age,” I was a hopeful VBAC, I had a history of a preterm birth (even though my first two births were nearly textbook). Tim and I consulted with several people to see when we could try to get pregnant again and still have a reasonably good chance at a VBAC. The delivering OB and another one both said we could try in three months (putting 12 months between the surgery and the next birth). Other opinions wanted us to wait 6 or 9 months. We decided to start trying at 4 months, never dreaming that we would get pregnant on the first try. 

I have to admit that I was more than a little nervous at first. I’d read birth stories and talked to people who had a short time span between their c-section and their VBAC. I’d also talked to people who had a full-term VBAC after having a premature c-section. But all my searching came up mostly empty when I tried to find people who had both of these factors in the same pregnancy. I didn’t know what would happen. 

I saw an OB for my whole pregnancy, taking P17 shots this time, and I saw an OB all the way up until the week before I delivered. I also saw my midwife for prenatal visits that last month (but had kept in contact with her throughout the pregnancy as well), unsure until the very end whether I wanted to go to the hospital or try for another homebirth. (My second child was a homebirth, and my third child was supposed to be a homebirth as well before my water broke so early and I had to transfer out of my midwife’s care.) 

I was officially due on 12/27, and in the couple of weeks leading up to that, I’d been having fairly decent Braxton Hicks off and on for several weeks, very similar to the way it happened with Benjamin (my second baby, 3 years old at the time of this birth). My due date came and went. I was a VBAC this time, so I didn’t want to be induced. I just had to wait it out. I had an appointment scheduled for 1/2 for a NST and ultrasound since I would be turning 41 weeks the next day. Then if I made it to 42 weeks, the OB was recommending induction at that time (which I was agreeable to, but still praying that I wouldn’t make it nearly that far). 

With both of my other full-term labors, I had light bleeding throughout the whole active labor, so I kept waiting for that to show up to indicate that I was finally in real labor, but it never did. I also was waiting for a loose stool, which could indicate my body cleaning itself out in preparation for labor, but that never happened either. (I did, however, have two separate solid BMs during labor, once it finally started.) 

On 12/28 and 12/29, I was losing teeny tiny pieces of my mucous plug, but nothing to make me say, “This is it!” I just kept monitoring it throughout the weekend, and it would come and go as the days passed. I had an appointment with my midwife on 12/28 and my blood pressure had spiked a little bit, and she said that it might be an indicator of labor starting soon. She estimated his size to be at about eight and a half pounds. She also made the comment that she likes doing baby-size estimates on women with my body type because it’s easy for her to be fairly accurate. The afternoon of that appointment, I made some eggplant Parmesan using a recipe that is “famous” for putting women into labor within 48 hours. A friend of mine had made it with one of her babies and had gone into labor that same night. I made the recipe, but it was deliciously ineffective for that first night and the second night. 

On 12/30, I woke up having lost a lot more of my plug the night before. I was having contractions that could still be called BH, but they were coming close enough together for me to think that they could easily turn into something more later. I texted our doula to see what time she was going to be in church, and to give her a heads up about the plug and that something might be happening later on. Tim and the kids and I went to church as well, and were there from about 9:00 to 11:30, where I continued having contractions. 

After church was done, I got Tim’s attention and told him that he needed to get the kids in the car (i.e. don’t dawdle and visit with people) and that today was probably going to be the day. He grinned at me. 😀 One of our friends who was going to come to the birth to help with chores or whatever else we needed came up to me before I could get outside and asked if I was in labor, and said that when she saw me when we first got there that morning, that it looked like I was. I told her that I don’t know but that she should come over after lunch. On the way home, I called our doula and our photographer and midwife and made plans to have them all come over at their various times that they could make it (from being out of town or whatever). 

My midwife got to the house first and we talked about what was possibly going on, and I went ahead and had her check me, and I was at a 3, 50% effaced, and very squishy. My bag of waters was intact but she could feel the baby’s head through it. He was floating, though. Since I was still in very early labor, my midwife stepped out to grab lunch with her hubby and then run another errand. 

Throughout the afternoon, the rest of my “birth team” arrived, and we were lighthearted and chatty since my labor was also lighthearted. 😛 The birth supplies were assembled, but I couldn’t find the little hats that I had crocheted, so I spent a little time in early labor making one more hat, just to be sure we’d have one. I also had some music on with a portable stereo, and Benjamin was laying down on the floor, directly facing the speakers, singing the familiar church songs on the CDs that I had picked out. It was so heartwarming to watch him do that. Lydia (my first baby, 6 years old at the time of this birth) played games on various electronic devices (like our photographer’s iPad and my Kindle). We eventually let Benjamin take a long nap, but Lydia stayed up the whole day and all the way through to the birth. At some point, we blew up the birth pool (but didn’t put any water in it yet) and the kids were enthralled with their new “toy” and kept playing over the edges of it. At one point, they managed to flip the pool on top of themselves, creating an air-filled cage. 😀

I got checked early in the afternoon when my midwife first got there, and I was at a 3, 50%, and very squishy. Since labor was still so light, she went to eat lunch with her hubby and run another errand. I gradually dilated to a 5, and at that check, my midwife was able to stretch me to a 6, but then I never dilated past that because my bag of waters was keeping the baby’s head from putting direct pressure onto my cervix. (My midwives called it “bag of water dystocia.”) I did a round of nipple stimulation, which helped the contractions get stronger and closer together, but it still wasn’t enough to move the baby onto my cervix and finish dilating. She suggested maybe breaking my water in an hour or so if there’s been no progress (and if baby was not posterior). 

I wanted to go ahead and fill up the pool first, though, so we started to do that. When Tim and I had made preparations for this birth, we got a hose and some fittings to fit it onto the shower head, because our washing machine spout wasn’t easily accessible. We hadn’t run any water through the hose, though, and instead had just seen if it would screw onto the shower head prior to birth day. Once it came time to actually fill the tub, Tim had a little trouble getting the fittings tightened properly, and it kept leaking, so we had a lot of stop-and-starts when trying to fill the pool. He finally got the fittings finished and then turned on the water. About a minute later, he called down the hallway, “Here comes some water!” to make sure that someone was holding the hose at the other end. It was a humorously delayed warning, but someone had been holding the hose anyway, so everything was good. 

I was in the pool for an hour or so, but the contractions slowed down, so I continued the nipple stimulation. They picked up, but again, not enough to do what they needed to do, so I got out and agreed to have my water broken. It felt like a gallon came out of me (but was really only about two cups), and it kept coming out in several spurts as I continued laying there, but as soon as she broke it, I was at an 8.5. She said that since I was so soft, it would probably be only an hour or so after she breaks my water and then the baby would be born. My amniotic fluid was meconium-stained, so it was yet another thing to keep an eye on during this birth. My doula had had a “streak” going where all of her clients had started labor with their water breaking, so I was glad to break her streak and have my water intact for so long. It took her some effort to break my water since my sac was so strong this time, which was such a change from my third pregnancy. 

My contractions picked up in intensity, but not frequency, after my water was broken. I was back in the pool but couldn’t get comfortable. I started vocalizing and screaming through the contractions, and at one point, they suggested that I go to the bathroom to get my full bladder out of the way (everyone had been giving me sips of Recharge and water throughout the day). I did that, and had a few contractions on the toilet and felt pushy. I wanted to get to the bed so they could check me, but I had to time it just right because the contractions were finally coming pretty close together. 

I felt the contractions so low that it felt like they were running down the side of my thighs as well. It was quite the odd sensation. While still in the water, I started needing some counter pressure applied to my low back/hip area, which Tim did for me. He was amazing through my whole labor, just doing what I said I needed instead of what he thought I needed. :p Overall, I’m glad that I gave water a try, but I don’t know if I’ll do it again. It didn’t really feel like it was the “magical pain relief” that people have made it out to be.

I got to the bed and was checked, and I just had a lip that moved back and forth as the baby tried to find his way down. I was complete, but my cervix kept slightly shrinking back with the contractions. My midwife checked the position of his head, and he was asynclitic (with sort of a front “corner” of his head trying to come out first instead of the back of his head). She spent a few contractions trying to push the lip over his head and at the same time get him to rotate. Even with no water, there was room for him to do all that. Both of those techniques were incredibly painful. Throughout my contractions and especially during the pushing phase, my midwife never stopped praying for us, out loud. I greatly appreciated this as it helped keep ME focused on who was in control of the situation as well. Since I was GBS positive this time, they also gave me a chlorhexidine rinse every so often, which was cold! Brrr!

During an incredibly painful contraction, I asked if I could push, and they told me I could. Because of his presentation, I never did get the uncontrollable, “my body’s going to push whether I want it to or not” urge like I’d had with my other vaginal births. My midwife was inside me trying to show me where to push (but I had thought she was holding my lip out of the way), which was also pretty painful. She also was still trying to turn his head in between contractions to a better presentation, but then before the next contraction hit, he would turn right back. I couldn’t feel it, but Tim kept seeing the baby flip back over as he watched my belly. She told one of my friends later that I had a pelvis that could birth a 10-pound baby and that the baby just had too much room in there since he kept flipping back. 

I was getting tired and weak by this point and kept saying and thinking, “I can’t do it, I can’t do it,” over and over. But I was also aware enough to realize that his heart rate had gone down into the 90s and stayed there, so they were getting nervous about a possible cord problem. I gave it my all. They didn’t know what was causing the drop in heart rate, but my midwife knew from my previous birth records that I could push a baby out fast, so she wasn’t as worried as she might have been if I were a first-time mom or having my first vaginal birth. We didn’t have the luxury of taking an hour or more to push with that declining heart rate. Tim was trying to help me push better/faster/harder by yelling, “PUSH!” several times at me, with increasing volume, but that wasn’t helping and before it started to bother me too much, the midwives told him to stop.

At some point, I was on my hands and knees trying to get the baby to a better position, but that wasn’t working, so I ended up on my back. I have NEVER had a pushing phase hurt like this one did. I had various people giving counter pressure on all four limbs to give me traction. I wanted to scream from the pain, but I knew if I did, it would make my pushing less effective, so I tried to be quiet and just let all the energy go into my push. From Tim’s point of view, there was one point where a big portion of the head was visible, but then when I stopped pushing, it slipped back. At one point, they invited me to feel his head, and based on the pain I’d been feeling, I thought I was going to feel a huge portion of it, but it ended up feeling only like a half-dollar-sized amount of head. The video is a little blurry because of the low lighting, but it ended up actually being a significant portion of head that I was feeling and not just a tiny little bit. 

When the head finally came out all the way, he was looking down towards my left leg. Before the shoulders came out, he rotated clockwise, looking directly at my left leg, then up to the ceiling, then finally straight over at my right leg, and THEN the shoulders came out. 

He was neither breathing nor trying to (but did still have a pulse, which my midwife monitored with her fingers on his chest while they worked on him to get him breathing). They kept him right at my feet where he had come out while they worked on him, leaving the cord intact. They suctioned him (getting a lot of watery blood out when they did this) and gave him oxygen. His one-minute APGAR score was only a 6 (but his five-minute one was 9). My friend told me that my midwife was crying at one point. After quite a bit of suctioning and some oxygen, he got a tiny spot of pink on his head which nearly immediately spread to his whole body, replacing the purple that he had been upon first arriving. He started crying and they put him on my chest. His cord (which was two feet long) ended up being wrapped around one of his feet, but that was the only place it was wrapped. And remember that 8.5-pound estimate from a couple days prior? The first thing I noticed when they laid him on me was how dense and heavy he felt. This baby was not an 8.5-pound baby. When we finally got around to weighing him, he was 9 pounds and 6 ounces, my heaviest baby so far. 

Another thing I noticed about him was that he had absolutely NO vernix on him, not even in his little neck folds or anything. He was a very well-cooked baby. 😀 I cut the cord this time, and was surprised that I had the strength to do that since I didn’t even have the strength left to fully lift my head to see where to cut, and had to rely on others to move my hand into the proper position. And 36 or so hours after the birth, I had a sudden realization, “Oh, yeah, I cut the cord this time,” like I’d forgotten that I did it. The assistant midwife and my friend were looking at the placenta later, and that midwife pointed out the few calcification spots in there and said that it wasn’t a “bad” placenta, but it was definitely done and time for the baby to have been born.

One more thing I noticed was a “scratch” on his abdomen that looked like there had been a cat inside me with him that gave him a good clawing. It ended up being just a weird arrangement of dried blood, though, and came off in the bath, revealing smooth and unblemished baby skin. 

Sometime earlier while I was still in the birth pool, I was nauseous, and threw up all the fluids I’d taken in in the previous hour or so. They wanted me to keep taking more fluids, so I kept trying, but the nausea never went away, and I also threw up all those additional fluids along with the few bites of eggs that I’d tried to eat as my first postpartum meal. This loss of fluids combined with the loss of blood made me incredibly weak and lightheaded, and I came very close to passing out many times, and actually did pass out once, later, after my herbal bath. Baby was born at about 2:24 a.m. and it wasn’t until noon that I finally felt able to walk a few steps by myself and got my appetite back. I didn’t even try to carry the baby before then, either, because I felt that bad, and instead just kept him near me in the bed and had Tim change all the diapers. And even after feeling better, I still had another few sporadic incidents of lightheadedness where I had to stop and bend over, and these incidents reminded me even apart from bleeding intensity that I needed to get back into bed or into a semi-reclining position. 

It was a little while before I delivered the placenta. They kept checking to see if it was ready to come out or where it was. I had lost a lot of blood beforehand and they were wanting to make sure I didn’t have a bunch behind the placenta as well. When it was finally ready to come out, I didn’t want to push it out since the baby had been such an effort. But everyone reminded me that the placenta had no bones, lol, and I pushed it out and that was that.

He nursed very well, once we finally got around to it. It ended up being about an hour and a half after the birth before we were able to successfully latch. From the loss of blood and fluid, I was too weak to do it lying down (though I did try with what little strength I had) and too weak to sit up without help. I was also too out of it mentally to ask for help sitting up and to realize how much time was actually passing. 

When we finally did sit up, my midwife asked us if we were going to circumcise him, and we said no. She said “Yay,” but I didn’t quite understand what she said, and she had a weird look on her face and said it in a weird tone of voice. I thought that she was upset at our decision until I asked her to repeat herself. Tim and I had had that discussion while pregnant with Benjamin and had left him intact as well. 

I did not tear at all, but I had some bruising. It felt like I had been trying to climb out of an above-ground pool but that I was repeatedly dropped on the edge of the pool, with one leg in and one leg out. In addition, I was swollen so much that I couldn’t pee within the time that my midwives wanted me to (even with the assistance of some peppermint oil), so they did end up cath-ing me. After that, the assistant went home but my primary stayed and dozed on the couch and wanted me to try to pee again after an hour and a half or so. I was keeping fluids down again by then so I thought I might be able to go when it was time, and I did, and didn’t have any further issues in that regard.

They offered an herbal bath for me and the baby afterwards (and they also thought I might try to pee in the bath as well, but that didn’t work either), which I took, but I got increasingly lightheaded during that, and hindsight said that they probably should have skipped it. I had to have a ton of assistance walking just to the door of the bathroom, then they had me sit in our wheeled office chair to wheel me to the bed, and I think I might have passed out for half a second. I remember sitting down in the chair, then the next thing I know, they were calling my name and I realized I was leaning on the door jamb with my eyes closed. I woke up from whatever state I was in, and then they wheeled me across the hallway and to the side of the bed. 

Baby is a champion nurser. He latches beautifully and just knows exactly what to do, as if he’s been waiting his whole life for it. 🙂 He had a bit of a “click” that first day or so, and after some investigating, I found out that he was turning in his bottom lip instead of turning it out, so I’m working to help him develop a better habit there. Other than that, he is a great nurser, easily handling my gigantic letdown. At three days postpartum, he was two ounces under his birth weight, but at five days old, he was two ounces over his birth weight. 

Tim changed all the diapers that first day, including the first meconium diaper, which had a HUGE pile in it for him. Tim made the comment of “nothing wrong with that system,” lol. 

He smiled in his sleep within the first few hours, and then on Tuesday (I’m still wondering what happened to most of the rest of Monday), I saw him smile while he was awake and in a quiet alert phase. 🙂 

One odd thing I noticed early postpartum with myself is that my uterus seemed almost cylindrical when it was freshly empty, instead of shrinking in a rounder fashion. My midwife mentioned this to me at my postpartum visit and said that she and the assistant midwife had noticed the odd shape even from when they broke my water. I don’t remember the shape of my postpartum uterus with my pre-c-section births being anything remarkable like that. 

The kids just love him to bits. Benjamin was sleeping when Josiah was born, and when he woke up this morning, I was in the bed and I asked him where my baby is. He indicated my now-shrunken tummy and said, “In your tummy.” I told him that he came out, and Tim helped him climb onto the bed so he could see the baby. Benjamin promptly squished him in a hug and said that “he’s sleeping” and gently touched his tiny hands. 🙂 Lydia was still awake for the birth, and when he came out, she said that he was “so cute.” 😀 A good friend of ours took our kids for the first 36-ish hours after birth, so that was nice, since one of the things that first made me consider a hospital birth this time was the postpartum stay without having my big kids around. 🙂 

We sort of have a “theme” going on with our names and our kids’ names – three-syllable names from the Bible. (My name is Andrea, which is the feminine form of Andrew, so I’m counting my name as a Bible name as well.) Then Tim is legally Timothy, and there’s Lydia, Benjamin and Jonathan. What WERE we going to name this baby, to keep with our theme? We chose the name Josiah Nathan, which means, “God has healed, God has given.” We couldn’t think of a more appropriate name and are just so happy that he is finally here.

What an incredibly beautiful birth story God wrote for Andrea and her family.  Thanks so much for sharing Josiah’s story with us, Andrea.  You can find more from my Trying for a VBAC series here.